


never seen a love as pure as it

by sweetinyourmemory



Series: a love as pure as this [1]
Category: The Wilds (TV 2020)
Genre: Enemies to Lovers, F/F, First Kiss, Fluff, Fluffy Ending, Getting Together, Happy Ending, Jealousy, Shoni - Freeform, alternate version to the lychee tree scene, instead they play truth or dare, lychee tree, lychee tree scene, neither did their first kiss the way it did in the show, never have i ever from the show didn’t happen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-29
Updated: 2020-12-29
Packaged: 2021-03-11 00:14:59
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,465
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28406106
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sweetinyourmemory/pseuds/sweetinyourmemory
Summary: Toni kisses one of the other girls and Shelby gets jealous. She wants nothing more than for Toni to kiss her, but she doesn’t know how to make that happen...without doing it herself or telling her she’s head over heels (which she yet can’t admit to herself).
Relationships: Shelby Goodkind/Toni Shalifoe
Series: a love as pure as this [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2084433
Comments: 10
Kudos: 221





	never seen a love as pure as it

**Author's Note:**

> Okay so, this is my first fic ever so please be nice and leave me a comment, it would mean the world :) Enjoy!
> 
> (title is from gold rush - taylor swift)

“May I suggest a little… truth or dare?”, Shelby asks, without expecting the others to go along with it. But she needs a distraction from this gutted feeling she’s been having, she needs it so bad to get her mind off this, even if it’s just for half an hour. The others share a look with eachother, then look down at their feet again. Dot shrugs.  
“You know, why the hell not. It’s not like we’ve got anything better to do in this shithole”, Fatin exclaims. Shelby can’t help the subtle smile appearing on her face.  
“Okay, so… I’ll give you the honor of starting, sweet Fatin”, Shelby says with a half genuine, half exaggerated smile. 

Fatin raises an eyebrow and takes a deep breath. She turns the bottle and it ends on Leah. “Truth or dare?”  
“Truth, I guess”  
“Hmm, so I wonder… have you ever experienced with the same sex?”

Leah looks a little surprised, but clearly not offended. “Sure, yes.”  
“As everyone should”, Toni laughs and the rest do, too.  
“I mean, it’s probably not more than just experimenting for me but, true”, Leah replies, shyly but also confident sounding. 

Some of the girls giggle a little. Shelby on the other hand, is picking her finger nails and barely making eye contact with anyone. Leah turns the bottle. It ends on Toni. She repositions her way of sitting, both her legs crossed over eachother, and grins. “Truth or dare?”  
“You know… the look on your face makes me want to say dare, but don’t let me regret it, you got me?”, Toni says, with a little bit of suspicion in her voice but it doesn’t cover up her excitement.  
“Yes!” Leah seems even more excited, “Let’s spice up the game. Dear Toni… I dare you, make out with one of us. Any of us.” 

The girls’ eyes widen in surprise, not expecting the game getting spiced up this way. Rachel sighs and shakes her head.  
“Uh… you’ve got something against that, Rach?”, Toni asks with an eyebrow raise.  
“No, obviously not. Kiss me if you wanna. I’m just shaking my head at how eager we are for a good make out session”, Rachel says, her expression giving off a comfortable vibe. She laughs.

Shelby is everything but comfortable. She’s unsure though, what it is exactly that’s making her feel uncomfortable. She also just doesn’t wanna think about it.

“Choose someone, Toni! We’re all waiting, girl”, Fatin screams out, which makes the others burst out laughing.  
“It’s hard! I mean… I love y’all, don’t wanna make anyone feel left out”, Toni then closes her eyes, takes a few good turns, stops and points her finger at someone. She opens her eyes. Fatin.  
“Yesss, girl! Come on!” Fatin sounds very excited.  
“Oohh!” The other girls can’t hide their excitement either, except for Shelby. She’s taking a few deep breaths, looks up, then down, just to look up again. As if it was a whole process for her to decide to look at what’s about to happen. Maybe it was. No one notices it, though. They’re all too focused and entertained. 

Toni gets up and walks towards Fatin. Nora, who’s sitting next to her, moves away so that Toni can fill up her space and be closer to Fatin. They make fiery eye contact. Fatin doesn’t seem shy at all.  
Toni confidently places her hand on Fatin’s cheek, then lowers it to her jaw and grabs it closer. She looks into her eyes for a few seconds, as if she’s actually making a move, before she pulls in to kiss her lips. Fatin seems impressed. They lock lips for like five seconds. Five dreadful seconds for Shelby, who’s looking at this scene as if it’s either the best or the worst thing she has ever seen. Or something in between, even.

“BEAUTIFUL!”, Leah screams.  
“WHOO!”  
Some of the girls clap their hands.  
“It was, indeed”, Fatin winks at Toni, still having this impressed expression on her face. Toni winks back jokingly and then walks back to her spot, to turn the bottle yet again. As if what just happened wasn’t a big deal at all. It wasn’t, was it?  
“Let’s continue with this lovely game”, Martha says, clearly enjoying the togetherness of it. 

The next day, Toni, Shelby and Martha go looking for food. As hopeless as that sounds. But if they would lose hope, what would there be left to live for? Soon though, they actually find a goat. It’s only a few feet away from them, oblivious of its worth to them and enjoying his meal. Grass. How wonderful would it be to have a life so simple, so pure? They may all be thinking that, touched by how adorable it looks, but Martha is the first and only one to actually voice that. Not only that, but also voicing how bad of an idea she finds it if they would actually go ahead and kill it.  
“When did animal murder get put on the table?”, she asks, worried and offended.  
“Martha, I’m sorry… I know you’re sensitive but it’s really not murder. At this point it’s more like self defense,” Shelby replies, feeling bad but also hoping she understands.  
“Self defense from a… goat?”, Martha’s pissed answer proves the opposite.  
“She means from fucking starvation!”, Toni exclaims, with a look as if she’s questioning Martha’s common sense, “By the way, she’s right.”  
“Are you seriously taking her side?”, Martha asks, offended and raising her voice.  
“Marty, it’s not about sides.”  
“I don’t wanna be any part of this”, Martha glares at Toni and storms off, and by the time she does, the goat seems to have gotten it’s cue and disappeared.

Shelby and Toni decide to give Martha her space and continue their journey to find food together. Shelby actually enjoys her company, maybe a little too much and she doesn’t know if she should feel good or bad about that. She probably tends more to feeling bad because she doesn’t want to feel feelings this… positive about Toni, about a girl, but hell, it feels so right at the same time.  
“Can we maybe like, take a little break? A little breather,” Shelby asks Toni, and looks at her with clenched teeth and a smile.  
Toni seems to think for a second, slightly annoyed, not finding it necessary but agreeing, “Sure.”  
“Thanks.”  
Shelby sits down underneath a tree and Toni shrugs and does the same, sitting down next to her. Shelby likes having her this close, but doesn’t like to admit that to herself.

“You alright?”, Toni asks her, after a minute, with a curious look on her face.  
“Yeah, why? I’m just… tired”  
“From the 10 minutes walk we just had?”

Shelby is not sure if she’s teasing her or just being mean, so she looks at her offended and raises her voice. “No. Actually, you know what I’m tired of? You being such an ass to me. I don’t get it honestly. If you don’t like me you can also just like, not talk to me, you know?”

Toni raises an eyebrow. “What is this, a “let’s sit down so I can lecture you?” moment?”  
“No it’s not, it’s me letting you know that I’m done with your disrespectful behavior towards me. Ever since we have been on this godforsaken island, it’s as if you have been more focused on making it clear you hate me rather than like, surviving. It’s clear, you know.”

“I don’t hate you”, Toni says, almost as if she’s surprised that Shelby believes that. “In all honesty? I just can’t deal with girls who are, no offense, so privileged and overly optimistic, that even when we just had a literal plain crash you’re still sprinkling glitters all over us and having this look on your face that screams “hey, it will be fine” when clearly, we are not fine.”

Shelby looks offended, genuinely this time. “Why does my optimism offend you?”  
“It doesn’t offend me, I just… I need us to be real, us all. I’ve been let down way too many times in my life to believe in this “if you dream hard enough, your dreams come true” type of shit. It’s not against you, I just can’t… it’s not for me. Nothing has ever been easy for me.”

Shelby’s offense fades into sympathy. She can see pain in Toni’s eyes. Something inside of her wishes to hug her, but she can’t. “I’m sorry.” 

There’s a silence. Shelby doesn’t want to get offended again, or fight, but she also doesn’t want this conversation to end for some reason. And so she continues.  
“But maybe consider that it also hurts my feelings and it’s unfair of you to do so”, is the only thing she can think of to say right now.  
“Oh my god, Shelby, it’s not all about you.”  
“I know that, okay! But it’s not all about you either. Why can’t you just apologize? Is there any other reason I bug you so much? Just tell me off, then. Why else do you hate me?” 

Shelby is all over the place. She’s not sure if she’s making this conversation turn into a fight, or if she’s practically giving Toni more permission to offend her, but at this point anything will satisfy her as long as Toni talks to her. Takes the time for her. It’s what she wishes, a hidden wish but it’s there.  
“Sure, it bugs me that Martha is up your ass so much. But honestly, don’t put yourself on a pedestal. You’re not on my mind as much as you think.”

Damn. Okay, that hurt. Maybe she should be doing something to change that, she wants to, deep down. But she’s also way too scared to make that hidden wish come to reality.  
“Well… well maybe, Martha is up my ass so much because she gets that optimism from me that she doesn’t get from you.” 

Okay, that sounded harsh as hell. God, she doesn’t even mean to hurt Toni. She doesn’t get what’s up with her. But she gets it so well, at the same time.  
“Oh my god, I’m done. Let’s go”, Toni sighs the deepest sigh ever, shakes her head and starts to get up. Shelby pulls her back. “What the hell?”  
“I just want to talk,” Shelby says, her expression basically begging her to stay. 

Another silence.

“Okay,” Toni sits down. “What else is there to say? To call me out on? Just do it now and quick, get over with it already. Fuck this. Hurry the hell up, we’re starving out here.”

Shelby swallows. “Why did you kiss Fatin?”  
Toni’s expression fades from anger to confusion. “What?”  
Shelby is embarrassed but manages to mask this with a questioning look.  
“Because my finger was pointed at her while I had my eyes closed, as you saw… what does this shit have to do with anything?”  
Shit. Shelby doesn’t know what to say now. God, just get the hint already, she thinks. Will it be easier for her to get the hint when the wish gets less hidden inside of her? She wonders.  
“I don’t know. I just…” Silence. “Are you attracted to her?”  
“I don’t know, I don’t fucking care. Why the hell do you care?”

Oh my god, please. Just kiss me, Shelby thinks. 

“I… I don’t care, I just. You looked to be very into it.”  
“Yeah…it was just an act though.” Relief is what Shelby gets from this sentence. Toni continues: “But okay, and? Does that offend you? Oh wait, yeah it’s a sin for you right, being gay. Is this what it’s all about?”  
She can’t be serious.  
“No! I’m not against it. Actually… I- no. Okay, it’s not about that.”

There’s a silence again. Then, unexpectedly, Toni looks into Shelby’s eyes. “Maybe you just need to get your anger out on me differently. You know, maybe just like… slap me in the face or something.”  
“What? No?”  
“Jut do it. You seem angry. You need to get it out.”  
“It’s not that. It’s not anger.”

Toni is still looking into her eyes, questioning her. Then Shelby sees a change in her eyes, as if something practically clicked in her brain. It’s not anger she’s seeing anymore. She’s not sure if they were this close the whole time or if they just got closer, but they’re so close that Shelby can see Toni’s pupils dilating. She knows what that means. Her heart starts to beat faster. No eye contact with anyone ever has felt this intense, this vulnerable. Are they even blinking? She’s not sure. She doesn’t care. She does’t care about anything apart from wanting to feel Toni’s lips on hers, right now immediately. 

A few seconds later, even though they felt like a lifetime, or like a moment stuck in time, Shelby’s wish comes true. Toni takes the first step and her lips are finally touching hers. They feel like velvet. Like silk velvet, the best, most expensive kind. She knows. She has felt it against her body many times before, but not this way. Not this pure, this vulnerable, this soft. As her lips move, Shelby pulls Toni in more. It’s like the more Toni kisses her, the more of a confidence boost she’s getting. She loves that. She puts one hand on Toni’s jaw, the other on her waist and squeezes it gently. She doesn’t want to stop feeling it, feeling her. Ethical, angelic. 

Toni pulls back softly. “You’re not angry,” she says, softly, happy. Shelby shakes her head lightly, smiles shyly.  
Toni’s face softens instantly, a little smile appearing on her face too. She looks at her fondly. She puts her hand on Shelby’s cheek, then lowers it to her jaw, but she doesn’t pull her back in for a kiss just yet. This feels better than Shelby could have ever imagined. She feels so wanted. 

“You’re beautiful,” Toni continues, then she grabs her jaw towards her and tastes her lips even more. Almost as salty as the ocean. Shelby’s tummy feels as if spring just came to life, butterflies fluttering all over, majestically, beautifully.  
Her embarrassment, her anger, her jealousy, the gutted feeling, it feels like Toni magically kisses those out of her system. Like she unravels her every hidden wish within and turns them into nothing more but eager, beautiful wishes. Makes it feel so okay, so right for Shelby to have wished them. As Shelby kisses her more passionately, she realizes nothing has ever felt so right. 

So right, that after they stop kissing and cuddling, they lay down, soft faces and satisfied expressions, and look up to realize that all along they have been enjoying eachother underneath a lychee tree.

**Author's Note:**

> I hope you enjoyed this soft, different version of their first kiss. If I’ll get positive comments about it I might write a second part :) The next part would contain more fluff, teasing and relationship development.
> 
> in case you wanna read more of my fics: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28946364/chapters/71026851 💕


End file.
